MY BUSY.

a good advice i know is not revolve your life around one person, one feeling, one place, one memory, one problem. the complexity of life and the diversity of the world is beautiful and you have the right to explore it. DO NOT SETTLE FOR LESS. YOU DESERVE BETTER.

and i lied and said i was busy.

i was busy; but not in a way most people understand. i was busy taking deeper breaths. i was busy silencing irrational thoughts. i was busy calming a racing heart. i was busy telling myself i am okay. sometimes, this is my busy — and will not apologize for it.

send me.

when you are ready but for now just know this. where ever you are.

i am with you because i want to be a part of your life — your whole life; through the good and the bad. i am with you because my heart feels compelled to beat for yours, and i will continue to choose you through the hurdles and through the highs. i know that life kicks your teeth in sometimes, and i may not know how to fix every shard of hurt and harm, but i do know how to love you — and i will love you deeply whenever things come to be too much.

i don’t want a 50/50 relationship. life doesn’t really work that way; it is real, not perfect. there are going to be moments where we will have to be more for one another, where we will have to build the other up, and i cannot wait to grow with you in those ways. i cannot wait to show you just how much i can love you when you need it the most.

i want to be your strength when you simply cannot cope, when you come to me with the world on your shoulders, when your spine cannot carry the weight you hold.

i want to be your hope. i want to be the one who doesn’t walk away when things get tough. i want to be the one who proves to you that people can still win this war of love.

i want to be the one who shows you that some people still stay during the dark times, that some people still fight. i want to be your light.

i want to be your best when you are not your best. i will not judge you for your sadness, i will not resent you for your flaws. when life gets rough, know that i will always want to be there to hold your hand, i will always be there to turn off the world for you. i don’t want you to feel that you ever have to life it by yourself.

within theirs.

when trying to forget someone who was once beautiful part of your life, the answer is — you don’t. you don’t try to sanitize your experience, you don’t try to cut the pain from the bone. you don’t downplay it. you don’t try to sweep it under the rug or hide it away. letting go of someone you thought would be in your life forever is difficult, sometimes circumstance gets in the way. sometimes, no matter how much love is there, you have to lay it down. you have to walk away. you have to accept that sometimes you get too big for it, or you want different things, or you cannot pour yourself out for it any longer. and that is simply okay.

but if you managed to find someone who cared for you, who saw you, who heard all of the horrible and haunted things you did in your life and still loved you harder, still thought it all shone like gold — that is special. you shouldn’t forget that. you should be thankful for it.

be thankful that you get to feel that way about someone. be thankful for all of the mornings, and all of the nights, you got to wrap your limbs within theirs. be thankful for the way they cracked your heart open. be thankful for the way they challenged you and calmed you and made you believe in the person you were becoming. be thankful for the fact that they saw you in ways you didn’t see yourself.

be thankful for the fact that you risked for love, that you unhinged your ribcage and opened yourself up in a world that sometimes favors playing it cool over leaping towards connection. be thankful that you found this person, in a world of billions, and for a moment in time, even if it was fleeting, you got to dive into the soul of them.

just be thankful, and walk away with grace. walk away with gratitude, walk away knowing that you felt something, that you experienced something, a lot of people haven’t, and in that way — you were changed. love is not meant to be possessed. it is meant to be felt. be proud of yourself for feeling so deeply, appreciate it for what it was, and let that love go off into the world and change others the way it changed you.

i see you.

being a good person is a choice. don’t let people fool you into believing that truly good people never have bad thoughts, are never tempted by the easier path, by the low road, never mess up or act out selfishly. never believe a person can be good without making a conscious effort.

every single time you do something good, you’ve made a decision to make the world a little brighter.

goodness is not an inherent trait, it is a choice. keep making it. i see you. i am proud of you, and i am rooting for you.

the season.

you can spend summer in the shade and reminisce over what winter had brought you. yet, equally, should you want — you can carry the knowledge of what has gone and take a step forward. it is an uncertainly certain road, it has a destination and your intentions pave the way for you. you can take the step to start again, to learn from what has gone and implement for the route you have followed. what has gone is no longer in your hands, but there is always a choice in where you lead with what is present before you.

each season of your life is here to help write a different part of your story. stop living inside past chapters. you’ve learned the lessons and you’re better for them. honor where you are and soak up everything this season has to offer you. you’ll never get these moments again.

* your personal happiness needs no explanation.

timely.

i am digesting and releasing emotional toxins simultaneously. i have coped and let go. i am healed, yet healing. i’ve grown, yet still growing. i’ve created a healthy atmosphere for myself; me, God & family are the only constants. distance is necessary like that sometimes. it gives us a chance to slow down & recenter. i am not perfect. i have bad days. i cry when it’s necessary. i smile hourly. i thank God for His blessings. i thank Him for His blockings. i have faith in the bigger picture. i realize sociopathy is real, & most times good people fall victim to it. i stopped beating myself up about the way others chose to mistreat me. i realize it had nothing to do with me. i realize i have a light that many pray for, & prey on, but burn when they get too close. my light reminds them of their darkness, & that’s okay. my light remains. there’s a peace i haven’t felt in a while that is restoring now. a shift in perspective. an understanding. a stronger connection with my own spirit. i chose me — to love & forgive, to have & to hold, to build & to mold. over anything & anybody that wanted me to fold,

i chose me.

recover.

day four of my “broth to life” experiment and i am feeling clear-headed not just mentally but physically. so far, so nutritious.

i added a pinch of mineral sea salt, sauteed garlic in olive oil, furikake seasoning, half squeezed lemon, chopped green onion for more flavor and topped it off with fresh organic mint leaves.

i just love when new things feel so familiar.

love & light.

i prayed long for this peace and will continue to pray — love & light.

In this world full of people who come and go, there’s still these wonderful people who stay with you no matter what, or no matter how imperfect you are.

I thank God for blessing me with my family. They’re the inner core of who I am today. Without them, I wouldn’t live and survive in this world. They were the ones who taught me how to become a true human being. The values I had from them were my anchor in life. Especially my mom, she’s the toughest and most loving mother. I am grateful to be her son. She’s always there to support and guide me even though we’re not always together. I love her with all my heart.

I am grateful for the moments of peace of mind in an ever buzzing world and busy thoughts. Sometimes it can get overwhelming to hear a lot of noise especially from those around, a mix of opinions of what and how you should be. There are times when there’s just so many things that need to be done that you can’t keep up with the to-do list, imagined or written. But moments when you can just breathe and take in everything slowly and calmly are priceless. It’s like your mind can rest for a little bit, bidding it’s sweet time to prepare for what’s next.

I am grateful for the things I have, the friends who turned into family and the family who quietly supports me. These are one of the things that are so easy to take for granted but I hope they know that when things get a bit tough and when I feel like giving up, I have them in mind knowing they would want me to keep fighting, that they believe I can amount to something more.

I am grateful for the things I do not have, for the dreams and goals that are still out of my reach and still continue to strive towards. Life would be purposeless without them and there would be no meaning in waking up each day with the absence of something to look forward to. There are still so much to experience, to learn and see. Life is an adventure that we all must take and even though it can get tricky, we should not forget that our bones were made out of the many particles that were stitched together and our spines a part of something greater. We are built to conquer and push forward despite the adversities. Even when conquering simply means showing up despite the fears and doubts.

I am grateful for the realization that I don’t have to compare my life with others because I am on a journey which is completely unique. And if there’s ever a need to look at another’s life, it would only be to take inspiration from the positive experiences and the negative ones that turned into valuable lessons. It’s very tempting to measure our success from what others have achieved but success is something you create yourself. You are your own artist and sometimes it’s more important that you understand your art than the applause you may get.

I am grateful for today, for another learning experience and for the words that could sometimes be so elusive but right now, can pluck them so easily from the depths of my mind.

air in my lungs.

this is the year that you let go of who you used to be. this is the year that you forgive yourself, and you start to set yourself free.

this is the year that you learn letting go is not a peaceful release, but often an intense confrontation. this is the year that you let yourself feel scared, so fear no longer controls you. this is the year that you see your situation for what it is, so avoidance no longer guides you.

this is the year that you let go of your past selves.

this is the year that you thank each of them for getting you through, and then you let them go.

you need to give yourself the space to become, and the space to release. you are not the person you used to be, and you will never be that person again. that person no longer exists, and so you must mourn for them, grieve them, thank them, and release them.

your body is in a constant state of rebirth. your skin reforms itself every month, the cells of organs re-create every decade or so. you must learn how to do this in your mind. you must learn how to burn and release and let the old parts die.

you are not one person throughout the course of your life, you are many. you are many different selves that are build as adaptations to what you need. right now, you’re being called to release all of them, because what you need is a fresh slate. what you need is to clean up the past, because the future? Well, the future is where things really start to get good.

your growth as a person is not contingent upon everything unfolding perfectly.

your growth as a person is not dependent on how seamlessly you can manage all the moving parts around you.

it is not going to be the result of whether or not the entire world bends to your will at all times.

it will not be born out of your sheer desire to move what’s unmovable, change what’s already been done, or control what’s distinctly out of your hands.

your growth is contingent upon your response to those things. It is contingent upon how you learn to adapt. It is contingent upon whether you see setbacks as failures or opportunities.

growth is not always a constant forward motion.

sometimes, growth is staying still.

SOMETIMES, GROWTH IS ISOLATION.

sometimes, growth is deep rest.

sometimes, growth is a good broken heart.

sometimes, growth is a beautiful mistake.

sometimes, growth is stopping to reconsider where you’re headed.

sometimes, growth is letting yourself settle, sometimes it is letting yourself blossom, sometimes, it is learning how to appreciate what’s already good in your life — because there is so much that you forget about.

it’s hard to imagine that we’re on the right course when everything is upended and we don’t know which direction is forward.

it’s hard to imagine that we aren’t forever going to be at the whim of the world around us and everything that can go right and wrong within it.

we often think that we can measure and manage our progress in life by how many things we can do correctly in succession of one another.

what we don’t realize is that it is the gaps, the stops, the pauses, the unexpected that gives us the real fertile breeding ground of our lives.

even if you are not where you thought you’d be, you are still where you are meant to be.

that’s what you have to remember.

every single season of your life presents a purpose, a lesson, a step toward your ultimate destiny.

what really measures our progress in life is whether we see the valleys as failures or simply pathways to the peaks.

what really shifts in our consciousness is whether we think of our lives separated into pieces that were “right” and pieces that were “wrong,” and instead viewing the entire thing as this interwoven, living experience that offered us a different type of breakthrough at each turn.

the truth is that everything you went through before this was preparing you for right now.

everything you are going through right now is preparing you for the future you asked for.

i know that it is easy to feel as though your life has been irrevocably changed because, in a way, it has.

but you are going to decide what that change means for you.

you are going to decide whether in this season you find gratitude and connection and deep rest and healing. You are going to decide whether in this season you find bitterness and resentment and the readiness to give up.

A STAPLE.

going to test my mind and body by consuming nothing but quality bone broth for the next 7 days and my daily multivitamins, side of black tea and tons of water of course!

#TheReboot

FASTING / BENEFITS / THE THEORY

  • restore your gut – its easily consumed, so its effects are quickly recognized and improve your digestion. its deliciousness is just a plus.
  • provide your body with nutrients – bone broth is rich in minerals and can help provide your body with calcium, potassium, magnesium, phosphorous, sulfates, and fluoride.
  • immune system booster – besides the wonderful flavor of bone broth and the abundance of minerals, bone broth can also help strengthen the immune system. so, get ready to help your body get the required collagen for the joints, skin, bones, and ligaments. (Collagen also contains the amino acids glycine and proline. Glycine has been shown to improve digestion by increasing gastric acid secretion. Glycine also has an anti-inflammatory effect and contributes to detoxification.)
  • detoxification of your body – by consuming bone broth, you are helping your body to more easily digest foods and to rid itself of unwanted toxicities that can contribute to bloating and weight gain.

There are numerous ingredients in bone broth that can’t be found in any other foods, at least not in perfect mix and concentration as they are found in bone broth. There are amino acids that are necessary or keeping your digestive tract operating, keeping your blood running, keeping your heart healthy, keeping your mind sharp, and even helping you in slowing down many effects of aging.

Basically, if you eat bone broth on a daily basis, you will find that your health improves dramatically, you will find that you have more energy than you ever thought possible. When fasting this is one of the most important things, as we tend to eat a lot less than usual.

Using bone broth powder while fasting can help you achieve that new outlook on life, and provide you with new vitality, even if you are not in your twenties. Also, while fasting, bone broth can be used as a base for a tasty detoxification soup. 

Once you have finished with your fasting, you wouldn’t want to remove the bone broth from your daily diet. You will see a huge improvement in your physical and mental health. Most people notice an immediate boost in energy and focus after only a couple of days.

https://www.huffpost.com/entry/bone-broth-good-for-you_l_5e0f849be4b0b2520d211700